23/05
According to feedback from my tutor Sasha, I need try to get to the root of the problem. And I need try to find out what is the source of our low self-esteem.
What causes low self-esteem?
Negative early experiences are very important for the development of low self-esteem.
What keeps low self-esteem going?
If we can work out what keeps a problem going we can treat the problem by intervening to interrupt this maintenance cycle. A psychologist named Melanie Fennell believes that our negative beliefs about ourselves lead to low self-esteem and that the two are mutually reinforcing. The reason self-esteem persists is because of the ‘habit’ that your brain has of retrieving the very negative image.
SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM
This week i read a book written by psychologist Nathaniel Branden. The book’s name is ‘Six pillars of self-esteem’ and it describes what Brandon sees as key factors in raising or lowering an individual’s self-esteem.
From this book, I know that we can divide people into two different types which are unconscious and present to the moment. It is clear that those who live consciously will have a higher self-esteem.
- The first pillar is ‘THE PRACTISE OF LIVING CONSCIOUSLY’
We should realise there’s the game we can’t win. So what we should do is practicing building self-esteem in the world we could do. Self-improvement can only follow self-acceptance. It means we should improve what we can change and learn to accept what we can’t.
- The second pillar is ‘THE PRACTISE OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE’.
We are all possibly in a bad condition. For your bad situation, if you were not taking care of yourself, people would be sympathise you. We should take the responsibility and not to play the victims.
- The third pillar is ‘THE PRACTISE OF SELF-RESPONSIBILITY’
We should know how to stay authentic to our true selves under the pressure and try to find something be value to our life. It means we could’t try to follow the so-called trend blindly. Instead, we should be grounded in what we believe in.
- The forth pillar is ‘THE PRACTISE OF SELF-ASSERTIVENESS’
In our lives, passionate entrepreneurs always have higher self-esteem, because they are the modern day warrior and has a strong sense of purpose and lives to conquer.
- The fifth pillar is ‘THE PRACTISE OF LIVING PURPOSEFULLY’
There are so many rules against we believe in which we would like to break. It won’t bother us or affect our self-esteem at all. If when we try to against what we believe in, our inner voice will tell us it’s worthless. We can’t have the voice in our heads and build self-esteem at the same time.
- The sixth pillar is ‘THE PRACTISE OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY’